Last week was kind of frustrating. By the start of the week, I had more or less all the words for 'Dragon's Tail', although as I mentioned earlier many of them were horribly misspelled and a significant number were also in the wrong order.
Hammering the story into shape and sanding down the edges was not complicated or insurmountable, and I have made headway, but I wanted to be done by now. I've had a hard time bringing myself to bear. Besides being tired -- which should not, in itself, be enough to stop me because really, when am I not tired? -- I've been feeling very down about the state of my fitness and health.
Ironically, this tends to lead me to eat even worse. It's another aspect of my difficulty in accepting imperfection: When I can't be as fit and eat as well as I know I should, why fight temptation at all, when giving in will at least make me feel better?
Well, the answer to that is, duh, because giving in is a tiny flash of pleasure for long-term misery; it makes me unhappier and unhealthier, but that's a hard argument to win with my cravings when there are doughnuts in the world that remain uneaten.
Time for my mantra again: I forgive myself. I move on.
(Also: Good enough, push on. The perfect is the enemy of the good. If you meet the Buddha on the road, don't eat a frickin' doughnut.)
Today, lunch will be restrained, and I'm going to use that time to finish the first draft of the story. After work, I'm going to the gym for the first time in a long time.
These are good things. Onward.